What to avoid saying or doing to parents in order to prevent increasing their child's stress before exams?
Parents often want to help their children succeed in exams, but sometimes they unintentionally make mistakes that can increase stress and decrease performance. Here’s what to avoid saying or doing to ensure you don’t add to their anxiety:
1. Pressure and Unrealistic Expectations
What Not to Do:
• Issue ultimatums: “If you don’t pass, you’ll be cleaning streets!”
• Compare them to others: “Look at Mary, she scored 100, and you…”
• Exaggerate the importance of the exam: “This will determine your entire future!”
What to Do: • Emphasize that while the exam is an important milestone, it’s not the end of the world.
• Say things like, “We believe in you, no matter what happens,” and “What matters is your effort, not just the score.”
2. Constant Monitoring and Overprotection
What Not to Do:
• Check in every hour: “Did you study? How many problems did you solve?”
• Take away their phone or cut off internet access, depriving them of breaks.
• Hover over them while they study.
What to Do: • Trust your child and give them personal space.
• Offer help when asked: “Do you need anything? Want to go over a tough topic together?” How to Support Your Child During Exam Season Without Increasing Their Stress
3. Negative Predictions and Criticism What Not to Say: • “You failed the practice test, how will you do on the exam?”
• “You don’t know anything; how do you expect to pass?”
• “Back in my day…” What to Say Instead:
• “Mistakes are normal; let’s figure out where you’re struggling.”
• “You’ve already learned a lot; just review the areas where you feel weak.”
4. Ignoring Emotional Well-being
What Not to Do:
• Dismiss their feelings: “Stop worrying; it’s nothing!”
• Force them to study without breaks, ignoring their fatigue.
• Criticize their nerves: “Get it together!” What to Do:
• Acknowledge that feeling anxious is normal: “I was nervous about exams too; it will pass.”
• Suggest breathing techniques, walks, or exercise to relieve stress.
5. Sudden Changes in Routine Before Exams
What Not to Do:
• Force them to cram all night before the exam.
• Change their diet drastically (like loading them up on sweets for "brain power").
• Deprive them of sleep for last-minute studying.
What to Do:
• Help them establish a healthy routine: 7–9 hours of sleep, breaks, and light meals.
• Create a calm atmosphere on exam day instead of chaos.
6. Banning Fun and Relaxation
What Not to Do:
• Say things like, “No outings/phone/friends until after the exam!”
• Take away their favorite activities as a form of motivation.
What to Do:
• Allow short breaks for hobbies—they can help reduce stress.
• Encourage a balance: “Finish this task, then take a 30-minute break before continuing.” Conclusion The key is support rather than pressure. Your child should feel that you are on their side, even if the results aren’t perfect. The fear of failure can be paralyzing, while confidence in your backing helps them focus. Remember, your child will remember not just the exam scores but how you behaved during this challenging time.
(c) Author of the article: Marianna Abravitova
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